The River and the Raft: The Mythology and Dreamscape of Neptune in Aries

Last night I had a stressful dream that kept on replaying the same critical moment in time. The scene wouldn't change until I took some form of action. But I was stalling, unable to take that critical step that would allow a new reality to be born. 

In the dream I was standing knee deep at the top of a wild river. I felt the water gushing past me as a wooden raft slid over in my direction. I turned to face the perilous high drop before me and the raging currents that crashed into the rocks below. Although there were others there, I felt deeply alone. It was every man for himself and no one could make this treacherous journey on my behalf. I stood there with terror in my eyes as I watched each person take the plunge over the cliff edge. Now it was my turn. 

And then the scene froze and I was perpetually caught in the realization that it was my turn. But I just stood there - paralyzed in fear. How did I end up here? And was this even a useful question to ask right now? I had to accept what was happening and that no amount of wishful thinking could change that. The pull of the water was making it absolutely clear which direction I needed to go. What else could I do but bow in submission to my fate? 

As it turns out, bowing to the flow of life is not the easiest thing to do, especially when confronted with a situation you don’t believe you could ever recover from. As I write this, a dear friend of mine is going through her own version of facing the perils of a raging river as her 6 year old daughter completes her third week in hospital with a rare condition that no one seems to have answers for. What is one to do when natural forces are beyond one’s control? And are we ever really “in control” or are things bound to happen no matter what our efforts may be? In these times, we turn to face the brick wall of reality. This is God’s will now. 

Similarly in my dream, I could feel the quality of my own refusal to accept the reality that was before me. The more I refused to take action, the more my situation would be suspended in time like a gasp with no resolve. And yet despite this understanding, I dug my heels in deeper. Fear was winning.  If I didn't choose to take action soon, eventually I would grow tired and lose my footing. Sure enough, the wet rocks beneath my feet started to become slippery as I veered towards the cliff edge - and I wasn't even in my raft yet! 

In this case, the raft may serve to represent a resource I was offered (perhaps repeatedly), and yet refused to accept because of what it implied: a one way trip into the dark mystery with no guarantees. My refusal to accept the raft was also a refusal to accept what my life’s journey had in store for me: major setbacks, losses of relationships, health crises, financial stressors and a lot of time alone. 

The irony is that when we say yes to life (going down the river) we also say yes to death, which in some ways sounds more appealing to me. It’s not that I want to die, but that I am keen to experience myself beyond the confines of my identity. Through this lens, refusing the raft could also reflect my resistance in taking my identity with me - a vehicle designed to protect me but in all likelihood wood probably snap in half upon its first encounter with a stone. Hrmm, maybe there’s some wisdom behind not taking that raft after all!

Personally, I believe that life is predetermined - that what is meant to happen is already scheduled to happen and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. You cannot stop the waves from crashing into the shore and you certainly cannot stop the sun from rising at 6am. Everything- absolutely everything is governed by Universal Law which defines the orbit of our lives. 

In Greek mythology, the "Three Sisters of Fate," known as the Moirai, are Clotho (the spinner), Lachesis (the allotter), and Atropos (the inevitable - a metaphor for death), who determine human destiny. Clotho spins the thread of life, representing the beginning of a person's destiny. Lachesis measures the length of the thread, determining the lifespan of a person and Atropos cuts the thread, representing the end of a person's life. 

Daunting as it may sound, the natal chart can be seen as a forecast for your entire life, revealing time stamps when certain energies are coming to ripen and the inevitable events that coincide with their maturation. Just in the same way we can measure when a volcano is likely to erupt by its predictive patterning, we can also measure when certain emotional climates will likely erupt in our own psyche. We cannot control the eruption but we can control how we respond to it. We can not stop waves from crashing into the shore but we can move to higher grounds or take up surfing. This is the free will component of our predetermined reality. 

Facing certain inevitabilities requires two ingredients: courage to take action and faith in the wisdom behind what is to come. For me, the symbolism and atmospheric quality of my dream offers a useful frame for the timeline we are living through and the rites of passage that are upon us now. This is a time to bravely confront what lies before us and to stop wasting our precious mental energy wishing a more desirable situation will magically come to pass. 

As I write these words, the dream continues to live on in the recess of my mind. I feel tired and anxious as my own personal fears are creeping up to the surface to be acknowledged and embraced with a courageous heart. I feel the familiar quality of panic as I am confronted with the prospect of “failing”, which in my personal case, means being left behind and never joining those who have secured themselves a place in the world. Despite the discomfort of my own internal struggle, I also see how my fears are acting as a motivating agent for change. If I am to ever inhabit an atmosphere of deep abiding belonging, I must be prepared to face my self doubts and move forward regardless. 

Astrologically, the prose I am using in this article carries the vibration of Neptune in Aries - a major transit that began at the end of march and will last the next 14 years. It’s the type of keep-moving-forward-despite-all-odds voice that many of us already know well. Under a different cosmic climate, I may be more inclined to shy away from this attitude, opting for an easy-come easy-go approach. And yet, Neptune in Aries marks a time where we must acknowledge the inevitability of hard times to come. It’s no longer a question of if - but when.

With Neptune in Aries, we must learn to walk our uniquely individual path, knowing that with each step we take, we are coming closer to turning a corner where a new earth can awaken in our hearts. Hards times will come to pass but we get to choose how we respond.

The independent nature of Aries says that no one can walk these steps for you - it beckons the Spiritual Warrior in each of us to rise and step forward knowing that we are fooling ourselves to think there is an easy way out through the back door. Upon exiting this door, we find ourselves entering the exact same place we came from. Our reality can never change if our consciousness remains the same. 

My dream showed me the extent to which I still distrust the greater wisdom of my life. It showed me that despite all my self-work, my self-doubts and fears of failure still have a strong foothold in my mind. Through this reflection, I have also been able to see how far I've come in the attitude I currently hold. An attitude of self-compassion and capacity to hold the vulnerability of my human condition.

I am more willing to accept my struggles for what they are, and as they apply to my personal healing journey. This has created an immense amount of space in my heart to experience more love for the human in us all. I realize that it’s not up to me to decide how or when my circumstances will change to reflect my own ideals, but to accept God’s will and the destiny I was born to live out. My job is to take one step in front of the other and to meet what arises before me without clinging, grasping or pushing away.

As a collective, Neptune in Aries is bringing us deeper into a paradox, and anytime we are invited to embody a paradox, we are allowing for a more sophisticated and evolved way of responding to the true complexity of life. With this energy, we are asked to give up our defences because the very thing that we are defending is the very thing that is tying us down. This doesn't mean letting yourself be walked over or becoming indifferent to perceivably threatening situations. It's about coming to acknowledge that the real Truth will always remain whether there is someone to defend it or not. 

A passage I often return to that exemplifies the power of defenselessness is found in the story of the Monk and the General:

The army general is disemboweling all the monks. His reputation has spread far and wide as a cruel cruel man. He comes into this village and he says to his assistant. “Tell me what’s happening.” The assistant replies, “All the people are frightened of you and they are bowing down. All the monks in the monastery have fled to the hills but for one monk.” Upon hearing this, the general is outraged and marches into the monastery to address the monk. He walks up to the monk standing in the courtyard and says,

“Don’t you know who I am? I could run my sword through your belly without blinking an eye.”

“And don’t you know who I am?” the monk replied calmly.  “I could have your sword go through my belly - without blinking an eye.” 

Such is the power of defenselessness. 

Returning to my dream, the risks involved with launching oneself into a raging river are indeed haunting, as are the risks of willfully allowing a sword to be run through your stomach at any moment. And yet when we make such a decision, we have to be prepared to commit ourselves fully. You cannot half step off a cliff or debunk a cruel General in a tone of ambivalence. 

Let’s also not forget about the risks involved in taking non-action. Within a culture wired towards self-preservation, we often fail to recognise the risks associated with remaining a passive observer or letting pride get in our way from taking right action. One may contemplate the risks of things staying exactly as they are, or the risks of arriving at the end of life without ever having chosen to live more courageously - even if that means enduring painful losses along the way.

As my dream indicated, if I didn’t graciously accept the raft and the subsequent journey that went with it, my fate would be to slip on the rocks and be taken over the edge in a state of panic. Do I go forward with courage or do I be taken down in panic? When presented in this way, it is easy to see how these two choices are quickly reduced to one. 

What constitutes a risk is different from everyone. If you’re used to holding your tongue then speaking your mind is likely to feel “edgy”. If you’re used to being fiercely independent then asking for help is going to destroy your image. In my view, a healthy risk is one that disrupts our self-concept in such a way that has us doing things that are uncharacteristic of our usual behaviours. By disrupting the mold of who we think we are, we get to meet ourselves in a new way that is much more inclusive and welcoming of all forms of expression.

Taking risks means at some level, facing death. Whether that be the death of a persona or the death of the physical body, whatever state of consciousness we leave behind in one plane of existence, is the state of consciousness we come to inhabit in the next plane. From this standpoint, there is immeasurable benefit to doing whatever we can to meet our fears head on so that we don’t have to meet them in our final moments. 

What’s your next step? 

✏️ Luna Feyth