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The word desire has both positive and negative connotations. We hear statements such as “follow your heart's desire,” while also hearing statements that warn us of the perils of being led by our desires. So what's the deal? Should we trust what we are wanting—or is what we are wanting not really what we want? Are our immediate desires in service to our higher desires, and what is the difference?
To unpack this, let's first take a look at desire as an object. If I were to say, “follow your heart’s desire,” and your heart’s desire was to get a cat, then one might expect to find you with a cat. In this case, the focus of our attention is on the object of desire and not the circumstantial conditions from which this desire arose. In other words, we have not yet considered what causes someone to want a cat in the first place. It could be that this person is feeling lonely. Maybe they just separated from their spouse and are in need of a furry friend to cuddle. Whatever the case may be, we can be sure that there were certain mental and emotional conditions from which this desire emerged.
So let's presume the feeling of loneliness is what spurred the initial impetus for wanting a cat. Here we can see the link between the condition of loneliness causing a desire, which then leads to the action of acquiring a cat. Here we are not concerned with whether getting a cat is ultimately a good or bad idea, but rather we are invited to consider what would change if the condition of loneliness were removed. What is being pointed to here is the difference between a pile of wood and a fire.
In this example, we can see how the cat is being utilized to reconcile an unpleasant emotional state. But is this the ultimate solution? Does the cat permanently resolve feelings of loneliness, or is it only acting as a temporary remedy?
Just because we can remedy our loneliness in the short term does not mean we are immune to the conditions of loneliness in the long term. Rather, it means we have delayed dealing with the matter behind the matter. And because we are not addressing the cause, we might become very good at finding objects that help mask our underlying feelings, thus entrenching ourselves in further delusion. Yet sooner or later, the circumstances of life will cause us to confront unpleasant feelings that no object can fully conceal.
Now that we have clarified that desire is not a thing but rather an unfolding process that arises out of a set of mental and emotional conditions, we can begin to discern for ourselves whether it would be wise to follow through with our actions.
In essence, if we are to trust our desires, we must have clear insight into the causes and conditions that give rise to going after what we want—or more accurately, what we think we want. Let’s take the example of entering a relationship. We may desire to enter a relationship during a time when we are experiencing a very low sense of self-worth. Again, it would be incorrect to assume that one’s choice to enter a relationship arises independently of mental and emotional conditions.
Because present conditions precede proximate actions, by agreeing to enter a relationship at this time, we can assume that we are also agreeing to the conditions that support the continuation of the felt sense of insecurity that played a leading role in the formation of the relationship. This is why people who begin relationships in a negative frame of mind inevitably find themselves in situations that feed off that negativity.
From this example, it is evident that taking the time to observe and evaluate one’s state of mind in the critical moments preceding action is of immeasurable value. What are the subliminal motivating agents driving you to get what you want? What attitudes and emotional states are shaping your decision to move forward? If you are feeling inadequate, the thought of never being able to find someone may be replaying in your mind. If you are presented with a job, the thought of receiving social acclaim may be influencing your decision to accept it—which again can be seen as an underlying feeling of inadequacy shaping the craving for recognition and validation of worth.
So, let's pause here at the word craving. Henceforth, we are going to scrap the word desire and replace it with this word.
Craving, in its present continuous sense, steers us gently away from objectification and toward the recognition of an ongoing process. Craving is a perpetual feeling that lingers in the background behind the object of desire. In this way, the object, when solely focused upon, serves to obscure the backdrop of feeling that is so essential to our capacity to discern compulsive desires from noble desires.
It is also worth mentioning that turning the word desire into craving reveals how such subtleties in language can serve as either a tool or a hindrance to the comprehension of reality. In reality, nothing is fixed; everything is impermanent; all parts are moving. Thus, in the moment we fixate on one part, we invite immobility into our perception, thereby entrenching ourselves in a state of ignorance.
To illustrate this further, let’s take the example of flipping a coin. If you flip a coin five times and get heads each time, you might be inclined to choose tails because you perceive it as unlikely to get heads six times in a row. Yet each flip of the coin contains a 50% likelihood of heads and a 50% likelihood of tails. Each time you are met with exactly the same odds, yet your memory and perception of previous flips condition what you expect to be the more likely outcome. Your mind is subject to the illusion of continuity, which is then impressed upon your perception of how you think reality should play out. Reality is impartial—we are the ones informing how the next moment is brought into view.
Another hurdle we face in our capacity to see reality as it is, concerns the limitations of language. Reification is a term that describes how processes become objectified or turned into entities. Through reification, the condition of anxiety shifts from being understood as a changing constellation of sensations and mental formations into an entity one possesses. In the process of reification, we forget that an object is a construction, which causes us to fixate on things rather than observe their formation.
When we find ourselves in a state of craving, it implies that we are operating out of some degree of ignorance—ignorance that is implicit in the fixation of desires as objects to obtain or grasp. Of course, there is a great deal of variation within this field, with bodily conditions being the most dense in their immobility. For example, if you are craving food, it presupposes the condition of a physical body that requires sustenance. This is a condition that cannot be changed by any fleeting will of the mind, and as such we are forced to submit to the biological needs of the body. Although it can be argued that the amount of nourishment the body requires is largely dependent on our thinking about it. Biology itself is yet another condition of mind, yet it is more deeply rooted in habituated thought patterns across evolutionary cycles.
In Buddhism, the understanding of the dependent nature of all phenomena is known as Dependent Origination. Simply put, understanding Dependent Origination is understanding the dhamma, and understanding the dhamma is the roadmap to alleviating suffering. Understanding the origins of craving is central to finding freedom in our everyday lives and is at the heart of the Four Noble Truths.
The first Noble Truth is simply an acknowledgment that there is suffering in the world through innumerable conditions that cause grief, lamentation, pain, and sorrow. The second and third Noble Truths assert that suffering arises out of craving; therefore, the way to end suffering is by cutting away that which causes craving. Finally, the fourth Noble Truth connects us to a more comprehensive framework known as the Eightfold Path. Here we are given the factors that make the road to liberation most accessible.
In essence, liberation is the absence of suffering, and the absence of suffering is the breaking away from craving.
To illustrate this, let’s take one more mundane example. Let’s say you crave a remedy to free yourself from sickness. When someone asks you how you are doing, you may say, “I am sick” or “I have this sickness.” Your words clearly acknowledge the object of sickness with which you have now become identified. Because you see sickness as a thing, we can be sure your perception is operating from a state of ignorance. This assumption is essential, not only because it determines the subsequent actions you will take, but also the surrounding thoughts and beliefs that coincide with the identification of sickness.
It is not that you are sick, but rather that you are entangled within a cluster of mental formations and emotional states that inform daily habits and physical postures, each relying on the other to verify the existence of sickness. That is why simply stating an affirmation that contradicts one’s present condition is like expecting a soft breeze to blow over an elephant. There are simply too many samskaras supporting the idea of being sick.
While it is wise to seek a remedy for one’s sickness, it is wiser still to consider the mentality of one who has no need for a remedy, for he who seeks a remedy affirms he is sick. At the risk of oversimplification, I will be making a new video that helps break down the particularities of this. But for now, I want to make clear that not taking medicine does not magically reorganize your mindset into that of a person who is well. What is being reinstated and encouraged time and again is contemplation of the causal nature of all conditions.
In life, there will always be times when things we don’t want appear before us and things we do want are seemingly unavailable. Whatever we are seeking to obtain or eliminate, this pursuit is governed by craving. In many cases, we can temporarily reconcile our cravings by obtaining the object of our desire, yet the degree of satisfaction this object brings will be short-lived, eventually returning us to our original condition.
When our cravings move into action, habit patterns are formed, whereby actions become reactions to external conditions we seemingly have no control over. When the feelings behind our cravings remain unevaluated, experiences can escalate and get “out of control.” In a split second, we can go from a sanctuary to a war zone with no recollection of the causes that brought us there. Inevitably, we are pulled by the gravity of our own ignorance, and the more we submit to unevaluated cravings, the more reactive our habit patterns become.
What we ultimately want is not found in a cat, a person, or any thing, but in the state of non-craving. While it is not wrong to find comfort in kittens and people who bring joy to our hearts, there will always be times when these objects are unavailable. During these moments, the feelings that once hid in the background of our awareness come to the forefront, and again we are presented with a choice: cover the condition with another object or seek to understand its cause.
Irrespective of how accessible or inaccessible our desires may seem, it is essential that we take the time to look at who is looking. What is the quality of mind of the one seeking these things? And what was the feeling that existed before the wanting? Are you saying you want peace while allowing your thoughts, words, and actions to be directed toward war?
Remember:
Before relief, there was tension.
Before courage, there was fear.
Before craving, there was a feeling.
Can you find yourself in the moment before you thought you had a problem?
Only a mind that is unconditioned is free from the stains of the conceptual past.
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